


I dare you

by kronotriga



Series: she keeps me warm [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Asexuality Spectrum, F/F, Lesbian Character, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Time Skip, Relationship Negotiation, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29252934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronotriga/pseuds/kronotriga
Summary: “Atsumu.” Kiyoomi’s husky voice promises methodical thought and patience as always, even when Atsumu is spinning wildly out of control like a rogue meteorite in her steady orbit. “How do I make it clear I want to be with you? What do you need?”Has she ever been asked that before? Not what she wants; Atsumu wants everything: success, wins, personal satisfaction, everything on the court. A happier life than Osamu. Making Kita proud. Getting to continue to play with high school friends at the world stage. Kiyoomi is an integral part of it all.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: she keeps me warm [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128053
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	I dare you

**Author's Note:**

> highly recommended [listening](https://youtu.be/lGBn9_aEtB8) (part 6 was originally going to be based on [this song](https://youtu.be/PElhV8z7I60) but I decided last minute it was a bit too angsty and I needed the song choice to ultimately be more hopeful; it's still a visually impressive music video)

_This_ is home, wrapped around Atsumu with her chin on her shoulder, hair tickling her cheek. Kiyoomi inhales deeply, reflecting on the fact that it was only a couple days ago that she realized what had been developing all along, for months now, without even being aware of it. Maybe her realization was sudden, expedited by a complete mishap, but as Kiyoomi hugs Atsumu closer she knows this is it. Them, Atsumu, was worth waiting for her entire life.

But Atsumu makes a snuffling sound and she feels hot tears on her neck so she gently pulls back enough to look down. Atsumu’s hold is surprisingly lax, fingers uncurling from the back of the fleece sweater and allowing Kiyoomi to tip her chin up without hiding the fresh tears dripping from her jaw.

“‘Tsumu, what—”

“Are you sure you want this? _Me_?” Atsumu’s voice warbles, thick with emotion.

Kiyoomi stares back flabbergasted. Of course she wants Atsumu, she thought she’d made that clear… unless she’s worried it’s only about sex? And there was also what Suna had said last night.

A proper conversation is in order right now Kiyoomi decides and walks Atsumu to the sole barstool on the other side of the kitchen island, nudging her to sit with a chaste kiss to her forehead. Atsumu’s sweet honey eyes are wide with surprise but are also still distressingly glassy with tears. Kiyoomi cradles her face in both hands, wiping at the salty trails, and feels her heart unclench a little with relief when Atsumu reciprocates her grounding touch to softly but unhesitantly place warm calloused hands on her hips, skin to skin under Kiyoomi’s two layers. Kiyoomi steels herself. No more misunderstandings on either side.

* * *

Kiyoomi’s openly worried expression has Atsumu reaching out to maintain their physical connection, unable to bear not touching her now that she’s allowed to. Atsumu promised Kiyoomi wouldn’t lose her no matter what but she is still terrified Kiyoomi might change her mind about wanting to keep _Atsumu_ , despite all evidence to the contrary. That eternal fear of her own hunger destroying everything she loves has never been as loud in her head as it is now when she is literally holding everything she is not willing to lose, because Kiyoomi is volleyball too.

“Atsumu.” Kiyoomi’s husky voice promises methodical thought and patience as always, even when Atsumu is spinning wildly out of control like a rogue meteorite in her steady orbit. “How do I make it clear I want to be with you? What do you need?”

Has she ever been asked that before? Not what she wants; Atsumu wants everything: success, wins, personal satisfaction, everything on the court. A happier life than Osamu. Making Kita proud. Getting to continue to play with high school friends at the world stage. Kiyoomi is an integral part of it all. 

“I need you,” is the honest response but Kiyoomi’s brow is still furrowed in a frown at the lack of specificity. Atsumu can be blunt and direct too.

“I—” her voice breaks but she pushes through. “I know you can’t promise forever and I can’t either, other than promisin' to always stay your best friend. But I need you to tell me if you don’t want me anymore, if I get to be too much for you to put up with as a partner. I would rather have that than lose you without a word. Please don’t just leave me.”

Kiyoomi’s cool hands on her face soothe the turbulent heat across Atsumu’s skin, the gentle motions of thumbs under her swollen eyes reminding her to take deep breaths and settle her heart. Kiyoomi is blunt and honest, Atsumu doesn’t need to ever worry about her not speaking her mind if something was bothering her. But Atsumu is still afraid that rejection or abandonment after everything they might become would shatter her irrevocably, even more so if it were bitterly without a trace of their friendship. 

“I will never give up on us,” Kiyoomi states clearly, making Atsumu whimper at the sincerity that harbors no misunderstanding. “I've been a romantic for so long without ever even realizing I was in love until now. But this is it for me, Atsumu.” She takes a shuddering breath to continue as Atsumu stares up at her in awe. Kiyoomi is far braver than she is. 

“I don’t want to ever fall in love with anyone else again,” she explains matter-of-factly. “If we don’t work out of course it will be disappointing but as long as we try our best and stay best friends I’ll be able to accept it. I just won’t be open to love again. I want _you_ , Atsumu, or no one at all.”

That damned insecurity makes her open her mouth. “But how can you be sure?” 

Kiyoomi breaks into a smile that sends Atsumu’s heart racing and desperate to continue to be the cause of, again and again and again. Even if they fall out of love one day. Oh, Atsumu is sure too.

“You know how Komori said I went on coffee dates in college?”

Atsumu nods, not quite sure where this is going.

“Every date was nice. But just that, _nice_ ,” she says with a shrug. “I’ve always struggled to make small talk and maybe it didn’t help that none of them were athletes and didn’t understand my drive and schedule. No one wanted to go on a second date and I can’t blame them, when all I could be bothered to passionately talk about was wanting to join the professional team of this amazing setter I’d had the brief opportunity to play both with, and against, in high school.”

God, Kiyoomi has dimples and is making her cry tears of happiness and relief. “No one has or will ever stand a chance against you, Atsumu. It’s only been you for me for years and it’s going to stay that way. That’s how I’m sure.”

Atsumu dives forward into Kiyoomi’s torso with a sob and cries herself out as long fingers stroke through her hair like she had done earlier when Kiyoomi was dozing on her on the couch. If Kiyoomi will never give up, neither will she.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this right after getting rejected irl, which I fully expected and was prepared for, but I promise this series has a happy ending <3 sometimes we just need to have difficult conversations and I don't regret a thing. writing this series has been self-indulgent and cathartic and I'm glad I am able to write the happy endings I want to see too (4 more planned parts to go)
> 
> follow the writing process on my [side twit](https://twitter.com/kronopriv)


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